Dear Torn: From your email, I can easily tell you love her and want to stay together. The only question for you is how would she feel if you told her. I can tell you a few possibilities: she’ll feel she’s not good enough, why didn’t she know, will you do it again, are you still lying to her, was she better than her in bed, does she know her, to name a few. Does she deserve that anguish? Your guilt will fade, but trust never returns. So keep quiet.