Boom Boom Parties in Melbourne – midlife sex by the numbers
I remember the “good old days” when as a young matelot travelling to the fleshpots of the planet, the glorious world of exotic sex was just a jeepney ride away. A few San Miguels under the belt, an eager driver happy to whisk you away to the pleasures of the flesh with the mere mention of “boom boom party” as a destination. But with advancing years, not to mention common sense, such pastimes are a thing of the past. Or are they?
Now I know everyone is about “surveyed-out”. What could be worse than another survey to tell us something we don’t care about, is patently obvious, or trivial in the extreme. It’s not as if the Labor Party is the only one who learned nothing at all from pigging-out on focus groups.
But this one is a bit different, at least for someone with a yearning for jeepney times-past and who finds himself on the wrong side of middle age and the lost joy of spontaneous erections at inappropriate times. Not to mention that gravity has taken hold of my body, shaken it like a dog with sock, so that my chest had slipped south and my backside seems to have drained somewhere in my thighs; budgie-smugglers now look more like Bombay Bloomers than girding the sensual, sculptured loins of Adonis.
Anyway, this survey was commissioned to look at sexual attitudes and practices among the 50-plus population, the “Boom Boomers” if you like. Here’s what they found.
Men think about sex more often than women, we see it as more important for our quality of life and engage in sex more often and are less satisfied if without a partner. After concluding this was stating the bleeding obvious, I suppose I can interpret that to mean that we prefer someone to talk to rather than engaging mano a mano with our hand. I was somewhat taken aback to learn that we tend to enjoy sex more than once a week, but thankfully not daily. Note to self: pick up that gym membership.
Among those who said their sex lives were worse than they were 10 years ago, people said worse personal health, more stress and worse health of their partner as the top reasons. I concluded that having one’s partner die at some critical juncture in the passion was some kind of psychological wet blanket to the process. The remainder of the Boom Boomers survey is not worth mentioning, beyond noting that someone actually got paid for this inane “research”. Like everything else, we take what we like and disregard the rest. So, what do the few parts I read really mean?
Well, for one, I realised that jeepney rides to the fleshpots of Olongapo and Bughis Street need to remain historical relics. I therefore opted to try my hand at the Boom Boom Party destination par excellence. The Casino. And I can tell you, it was like watching nursing home inmates at an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord.
It didn’t seem to matter if you were wearing a wedding ring, or over 75, people were all smiles. The best part was that I could also see women clearly in the lights of the slot machines, which is a real plus after the near blackout conditions of singles bars in the ‘70’s. Back then, you didn’t know what you’d “caught” until you drove past a streetlight and took a good look at their face. From there, it was straight to the “catch and/or release” program. The 70’s were a very scary time for singles.
So, let me say to all you old people, forget that boring church, volunteer and supermarket hook-up hype about finding companionship in these places and get down to the casino. There’s a Boom Boom Party going on and you’re still invited.
Robert Barclay is an ex-matelot who spent many years learning the cultural mores of several Asian countries, mostly through the lens provided by the bottom of an empty beer glass. Now retired, he struggles with technology, gravity, Viagra and a desire for a night’s sleep uninterrupted by periodical visits to the toilet.
What People Say
I am a newbie and have only been to this place twice. But every time I went there they always treat me very nice and didn’t discriminate of my awkward appearance. Instead, the girls take a more active move trying to please me. Thanks ladies!
I usually only have a regular session but that night I wanted to have something new and I negotiate with the girl with a slightly increased fee. Damn it was amazing! I didn’t pay much extra but the service, Maggie gave to me was like double. I’ll be back again soon girl!
I’ve been to Cherry tree garden a few times now and always have an amazing experience each time. The girls are all pretty making it so hard to choose like I want them all!!! I went with Candy this time and she was not disappointed! She knows how to please me. The experience forces me to go back to her again and again. Highly recommended!
This place is truly amazing. Today was my second visit and can’t describe in words about my experience with Momo. That girl is really a gem. Gorgeous girl giving her attention the entire time. I can’t wait for the next visit.
Hello Lily, how are you? I was in yesterday & I had an hour with a beautiful lady who has a beautiful soul, she is so delightful & her name is Susan she’s everything I prayed for & more. I will be back to spend time with Susan again. As I turned into the driveway I can see how beautiful the garden looks & as I rang the doorbell a nice gentleman answered & his name is rob & it was nice to meet him, I explained to rob the lady I wanted & rob suggested Susan. As I walked into the reception area I can see just how beautiful your establishment is with all the furnishings the decor & the rooms are absolutely beautiful. I also liked the music that was playing too as I walked in. Please say thank you to rob & Susan. Thank you too lily. I already started reading your book too. I’ll be back again to see Susan. Take care, be safe always & have a nice day. Kind regards, Harry (December 14/2019, with permission)
Dear Lily, please pass on my thanks to the wonderful Susan. She was a delight, kind, funny and beautiful. My first time at your establishment and was amazing. So many beautiful girls and so friendly when you first meet them. I will certainly be back and looking forward to my next visit with Susan. Have a great long weekend to you and everyone at the Cherry Tree Gardens. Steven (Sept 27/2019)
After reading all the reviews about The Cherry Tree Garden, I phoned and booked for a 30 minutes massage, I spoke with nicely spoken man who booked me at the time I asked for and met me at the door on my arrival, inside the door it was full of quality furnishings in each room, one of the beautiful ladies took me to one of many nice rooms, the room was very very clean and the soft music was so nice and relaxing, the best massage I have had in a very long time. The staff at The Cherry Tree Garden are very nice and approachable, thank you as you will be seeing me again and again 🙂